Ever wondered why we say ‘We’re listening’?
Being listened to is often more powerful than being given advice.
When someone we care about is struggling, most of us instinctively want to help.
We want to make things better. We offer suggestions, look for solutions and sometimes find ourselves saying, “Have you tried…?” before the other person has even finished speaking.
It comes from a good place. But sometimes, what someone needs most isn’t an answer. It’s to feel genuinely heard.
At Youth Talk, our strapline ‘We’re listening’ is deliberately simple. But those two words say something really important about what we believe.
And, perhaps more importantly, it’s something young people have told us themselves.
In our recent Growing Up Survey, more than 1,200 local young people shared their experiences and thoughts with us. When we asked what they wanted adults to understand, one message came through particularly clearly: don’t immediately dive into ‘fix-it’ mode. Listen first.
It’s a simple message, but one worth thinking about.
As adults, when a young person tells us they’re struggling, our natural instinct can be to reassure, advise or solve. We want to make things better. But the answer that seems obvious to us might not feel obvious – or even right – to them.
Really listening creates something different. It gives someone space to put thoughts and feelings into words without judgement or pressure to immediately do something about them. Sometimes, simply saying something out loud can help us begin to understand it differently.
Of course, that doesn't mean advice or practical help is never needed. Sometimes it absolutely is. But perhaps before asking ourselves, “What should I say?”, there's another question worth considering:
“Have I really listened?”
Young people are telling us they don't always need adults to have the answer.
Sometimes giving someone our full attention - and the space to find their own words - can be far more powerful than having the perfect solution.
Perhaps that's why ‘We're listening’ will always mean rather more to us than just a strapline.
